When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
