I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
zippers are such a cool invention
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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