she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
