I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
