Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
