so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
