woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
