so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
