I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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