why didn't you poke me back
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
