Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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