rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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