and you said cock pushups were impossible
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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