But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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