I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I checked into jail on foursquare
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
