bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize