Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
