just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
