Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
