new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
