It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
