I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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