small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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