haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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