That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
