Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize