you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
