It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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