Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
