i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
