Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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