I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
