Can i not drive my cunt home
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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