No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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