Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
