What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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