God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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