i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
