i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
