idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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