Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
