Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
