He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
