The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
