I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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