I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize