Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
