I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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