I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
