if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
