why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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