my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize