So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
