It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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