SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
