i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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