Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
