I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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