it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
