hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
