Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
