Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
