4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
