ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
