Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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