so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
